"Christian Sex:" WHAT?!

[Whoa, Anjoli...you're going to talk about sex? Are you serious?]

Yeah, I'm serious. Let's talk about premarital sex.
I recently heard of a concept called "Christian sex." Apparently this is a term used to describe the premarital sexual acts in which Christians are allowed to participate. Not to get too graphic or anything, but apparently there is a dividing line between "regular" sex and anal sex, so Christians can do the latter before marriage, but not the former...and apparently they can still call themselves virgins afterward, which makes it "okay."

I hope you're on the same page with me as I say this: WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!
I hate need to break it to you, but: Christians aren't supposed to engage in ANY sexual acts prior to marriage!

I don't care how you twist around the rules and guidelines, any kind of sex is still sex. And you can't slip your way through that truth. Don't believe me? Ask your parents. Ask your pastor. Ask some wise friends. Ask elders of the church. Almost anyone!

It is your responsibility to protect your purity and maintain your virginity until the day you sign that marriage certificate. And it is the responsibility of your significant other to protect your purity in the same way.

Can you honestly tell me that you still feel innocent and pure after engaging in that [SEXUAL] act? Can you tell me that you won't regret it if you do it? Can you tell me that you would be perfectly content with announcing to your family and your church that you did it? And do you honestly (and I mean HONESTLY) believe that Jesus would look you in the eye and tell you that it's perfectly fine to do that?

If your answers to any of those are "no," that should probably be a clear sign to you that you shouldn't do it.
I can tell you right now that the answer to that last question should DEFINITELY be a NO.

Matthew 5:28 "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

We know that it is sinful to THINK sexual thoughts (to clarify: it is not sinful to be tempted; it is sinful to respond to the temptation and allow it to fill our minds). We know that imagining a sexual situation with a person is just as bad as actually doing it...because if we have committed a sin in our minds, we have also committed it in our hearts. So, how could anyone ever try to draw a line between a so-called acceptable sexual fantasy and a non-acceptable sexual fantasy when you are unmarried? No one could do that. And if you can't draw a line between sexual fantasies, how can you draw a line between acceptable and non-acceptable sexual practices? One TYPE of sex is not different from another type.

I'm sorry...my thoughts are all over the place on this one because there are just too many reasons this concept of "Christian sex" is off-the-wall and inaccurate! So please excuse the jumbled nature of this post. I guess my main message here is this:

Don't let anyone tell you that it is okay to engage in any sexual behavior before you are married. If your partner isn't willing to wait until marriage--and isn't willing to protect and honor you and your body--then that person isn't worth dating. And TRUST ME: God has someone much more respectful, loving, and Christ-like waiting for you.

Okay...go out and make good choices.

Welcome to the Buffer Zone

When we were kids, my brother always used to say, "You're in my buffer zone!" That was his way of telling us that we were too close for comfort and we needed to back off. Of course, the rest of us were younger siblings, so we always pushed our luck! But the whole "buffer zone" thing was a concept my family adopted and that we still use, just for fun, to this day.

On a more serious note: We all like to have our comfort zones (buffer zones, if you will) and we like to sit inside those magic little areas of safety and contentment by ourselves for as long as possible. In fact, we stay there until a needle pops it and we have to send it to the shop to get fixed or until someone stands outside it for days on end, just rubbing one little spot and a hole eventually develops, so we have no choice but to slowly exit on our own (or let that person inside the bubble, but really, who ever wants to let other people in their own little bubbles? Precious space!).

The scariest part, though, is that we aren't meant to stay trapped in these bubbles, are we? Just as God called Peter to step out of the boat and onto the water, He is calling us to do the same thing. He wants us to step out of our comfort zones and into a place where we can only survive by trusting Him.

And, get this: it doesn't just stop at us getting out of these zones and bubbles...that's only the beginning. We then have to dare to do two more things:

1. Get inside other people's bubbles.
   We have to want to poke holes and tear down walls if we are going to reach people. There has to be some effort put into it! We have to let people know that we aren't settling for whatever they are giving us on the surface; we want to know who they are at the core and all the things they are afraid to let seep out of those holes. And don't get me wrong...we have to make sure that we aren't going in with axes and baseball bats, but with soft hearts and gentle spirits that will get us invitations inside.
2. Let people inside our own bubbles.
   Oh, boy. There's a scary thought! But it's the truth. How can we expect others to open up and let us inside their buffer zones if we can't open up and let them inside ours? Besides, this isn't ONLY about their comfort; it's about ours, too. It's incredible what can happen if you allow your space to be invaded just a little bit, or allow a couple pokes.

Your mission? Break your bubble and then go help others break theirs. And most of all: step out of your comfort zone and witness the amazing work God wants to do--and will do--through you!

"Christian cuss words:" What?

Ok, let's have a chat.

There is no such thing as a Christian cuss word.

Seriously, Christian cuss words don't exist...so please stop fooling yourself and pretending that they do exist and that it is okay to use them.

You know what I'm talking about, right? All these Christians, especially in their teens and 20s, think that it's cool to come up with these knock-off swear words to replace the words they really want to use. You've heard these words, right?

Do you say them?

If you answered yes...then STOP.

Why? Because if you say something with the purposeful intention of saying it to specifically replace another (bad) word, then you might as well just say the bad word you intended on saying. You still mean the bad word; you just aren't saying it.

Is that clear?

So, the next time you say "fudge," make sure it's because you are craving a piece of delicious chocolatey goodness.

And the next time you get some urge to say a swear word, don't replace it with another word that's just a knock-off version of the real thing. Just don't say anything in that space. Swear words are completely unnecessary...and so are the so-called "Christian" versions of them.

How this is SUPPOSED to work

I will make this quick.
Why? Because I shouldn't even need to say this.
But apparently people just don't get it.

I am convinced that people out there have decided to try and change the order of the world.
To be clear, let me tell you how this is SUPPOSED to work.

1. You become mature and responsible.
2. You get married.
3. You have sex and maybe get pregnant.

This is NOT to be messed up or confused in any way.
You do not get pregnant before the other two, you do not get married before the first one, and you do not do anything if you are still young and stupid.

Too blunt? I don't care...it needed to be said.

The Rapture and the unborn

Lately, I have been thinking about tribulation and all of that not-so-lovely stuff to come (mostly because my boyfriend and my father are both on these end-of-the-world kicks for some reason and have been reading Left Behind and all these survival books...you know...anyway, I blame them).

So, I just have one question. I am not sure if I am looking for fact or opinion here because, as far as my research goes, there isn't a definitive answer. I guess that means I am searching for more of an opinion. Or perhaps simply searching to stimulate your mind and get you thinking independently on the subject.

Anyway...here's my question:
What about the unborn?

Obviously, when Christians are taken from the earth at the time of the Rapture, babies (and children who have not yet reached the age of accountability) will be taken as well. But what about the babies who have not yet been born?
They are babies, too.
With that being said, will they be taken from the womb (since that is where life begins) if they have already been conceived? And if they are, how will it happen--what will the mothers see and feel (will it be like a miscarriage or will it be as though she was never pregnant)?

Or will babies be taken directly after birth?
Will they simply disappear once they have been born?
Or will God keep them there to live with those who were left behind until everything is over? And would that be fair to the poor child--to live through that kind of suffering on earth because he or she simply was a little late being born?

This brings me to babies conceived after the Rapture, of course. Do women just not get pregnant after the Rapture? Is that the end of human reproduction?
If they are allowed to get pregnant, are those children (since they are conceived afterward) then taken directly from the womb? The same questions are present with those conceived beforehand, of course.

I just have so many questions related to this subject, so I think I will just go ahead and stop because you should get my point.

What happens?!

"I know how you feel."

Is that not one of the most annoying things a person can tell you? It honestly does not matter what is going on in your life or how bad you are feeling in that moment, someone will always "know how you feel." But, in reality, those people NEVER know how you feel.

And you just want to grab some duct tape, close their mouths, and tie them to chairs to make them shut up.

Sound familiar?

It doesn't make much sense. You could have just been diagnosed with cancer, lost your home, dealt with a sick parent, and found out your job was in jeopardy. But do these people really care? Nope! There will always be someone there who will decide to compare his own life with yours and decide his is worse and, thus, just HAVE to share it with you. "Oh, yeah. I know how you feel! I lost my puppy last year...it was just like this." I mean, do people seriously think before they talk?

And why in the world do people want to compete with you for position of "worst life" or "worst experience?" You would think it would be more fun to know you haven't experienced that and have been blessed with a wonderful life. You'd think people would enjoy looking at the positive elements of their lives more. Wouldn't you think that?!
No? Alright. Maybe it's just me.

AND, rewinding a little bit here: Even if this other person's house was bombed and then his dog and 16 children were eaten by a sea monster, is it really going to make you feel better at that moment? No...but it might make you feel worse (yay)! And, STILL, does that person really know how you feel? No. Of course not.

No one will ever know how you feel. Ever. Because everyone has different experiences. And even if two people have the exact same experience, they will always interpret that experience in two different ways...perhaps similarly, perhaps not.

So.
You don't want to hear other people's long, drawn-out stories of their own personal misery?
You don't want people to tell you they "know how you feel" when they obviously don't know?
You don't want any of this? At all? Are you sure? Really?
Too bad...'cause you'll get it anyway.

I wish more people would understand the concept of listening. Sometimes people do not want to hear your irrelevant stories that have nothing to do with their lives that are crashing and burning as they wince in pain. Sometimes people just need someone who will listen to them and love on them and show them that they have people surrounding them who love them, care for them, and will be there through those difficult times...even though they DON'T understand.

Sometimes admitting you don't understand the person's situation but loving them anyway, simply knowing you have felt hurt or scared or distressed in some form or fashion in the past...and knowing you needed the same things...is a better option.

Disclaimer: This is not to discredit the beauty of support groups and things of that nature. Totally different thing. I know those are actually quite helpful for people. But even then, people all come with different backgrounds and stories and experiences.

It is, of course, nice to know that we are not alone. It is nice to know there are others out there who have been where we have been and can get us through the same way they got through...but there is a line. A line between helping and boasting. A line between appropriate timing and just not thinking before speaking. A very definitive line sometimes that people just choose to ignore.

More Beautiful You

God wants us to know that beauty isn't in the magazines or on the television screen...it's not in the pasts we hang over our heads or in anything that society tells us. Society loves spreading lies and we have to choose to block it out and spread a message of truth instead--the truth that God made us each beautifully and no one could replace any one of us...not even more society-approved "beautiful" versions of us.

No one can replace you because there could never be a more beautiful YOU.



I know I post this song on Facebook every now and then and talk about it all the time, but I really just love the song and the message it brings. And I hope it serves as a reminder to you that you are beautifully and wonderfully made. We are all different, but we are all beautiful, too.

P.S. Tell Her She's Beautiful is an event someone started on Facebook. It lasts for the whole month of February this year and the point of it is simply to tell someone she (or he!) is beautiful...tell everyone. Make sure everyone knows they are beautiful!