Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Permission to be blunt?

[I definitely forgot to post my note from Facebook that inspired the name of my blog. So I'm posting it now...though most of you have already seen it. :) I guess it's more of a reminder to me why this is here. Ready for this? It's a long one!]

WARNING: If you have a problem with bluntness, you will hate me, so don't read this.

I have two subjects to address here.
1. Kids who think they are in relationships
2. Cooties; People who think it's cool to have premarital sex


First, what is up with all these, like, 12 year-olds having "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" and dropping "I love yous" like the words "it" and "the?" Seriously. Sorry to break it to you, pre-teens, but you are not in love; you do not know what love is; and you do not need to be talking to your friends about making out, "doing stuff" with boys, and sneaking out to go to parties on Friday nights. My, how things have changed. Little girls are now learning about sex from their friends in the bathrooms and halls of middle school. And little boys are falling under the stigma that "if you have sex, you are cool" before they even hit puberty.
When I was your age, Little Girl, boys still had cooties, sex did not exist, swearing (or "cussing") was heinous, and I wanted to be as far away from parties and smoking as possible. I didn't even want to watch a PG-13 movie until I was "legally" allowed to do so. As far as I'm concerned, every one of these things is still intact in my head. And I still live by these things. So, explain to me why you, child, are jealous of your 13 year-old friend who is having sex with her "boyfriend" who is lying to her and will just leave her in 2 weeks for the new girl in town who is "hotter" and "more fun" than her. Can you explain that? Hmmm...didn't think so.

Somewhat related, yet somewhat off the beaten path here: parents who encourage this behavior. Oh, yes, I brought it up. I had friends in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL who had parents encouraging them to have boyfriends, kiss their boyfriends, take their boyfriends everywhere with them, and so on and so forth. They were also wearing bikinis in elementary school and mini-skirts that weren't worth calling clothes because they covered nothing. Now, guess who ended up with the bad reputations in middle/high school and removal of bedroom doors at home? Not me. I personally found it intriguing, however, that their parents were the ones to remove their doors...considering it was their fault for raising their kids with that mindset from the beginning.

Parents, be parents. If your kids are holding hands with other little kindergarteners or if they're going to their first co-gender party, that's cute and all...but when they get old enough to know what they are doing and they start doing inappropriate things that you are encouraging them to do, that's just stupid.
And kids, be kids. Remember cooties exist and don't bother getting in relationships now that won't last 'til tomorrow.


Now, can you explain to me why "sex is cool?" Not only do I still think guys have cooties, but do people realize how REAL cooties become by the time they reach puberty? Cooties transform from being "boy germs" and "girls germs" to being STDs and mononucleosis faster than they may think.

Ok, on that note...There is something else, aside from the whole "It's immoral, so why are you doing it?" thing, that really doesn't make sense about people thinking sex is cool. Males (and females), let me ask you this: What happens when she gets pregnant? Is it still cool? I don't think so!
You know as well as I do that there are girls getting pregnant younger and younger (there was a girl 9 months pregnant in my 7th grade class; don't try to argue with me). You also know that Washington County, MD has one of the highest unwed teen pregnancy rates in the state and, most likely, the country. So don't tell me it's not a problem. With that said, do you see the looks on people's faces when a pregnant teenager walks into the room? You probably give the look, too. But you shouldn't. Why? Well, aside from the fact that some of those girls were victims of incest and rape, you should also keep in mind that 90% of people have premarital sexual intercourse by the age of 22. And 900,000 teenagers get pregnant EACH YEAR...30,000 of those teens being UNDER the age of 15. This means that, of you 90% of teenagers having sex, 900,000 of you will end up pregnant next year. And you are still passing on those dirty looks to the ones getting pregnant even though you, yourself, are having sex, too...you just take a sigh of relief, in the midst of your guilt and regret, because you didn't end up like those 900,000 other girls.
Don't worry; chances are good that you will end up just like them.

(You might also be interested in knowing that 40% of those teenage pregnancies end with abortion. Alarming? Yes.)

But back to my beginning on this one:
You say you're cool if you have sex...but you're not cool if you get pregnant...so how come two people can go out and do the EXACT same thing (have sex) and one of them stays cool (because she didn't get pregnant) and the other ends up shunned from popularity and expelled from school (because she got pregnant)? It doesn't make sense if you ask me.

Conclusion: IT IS NOT COOL TO HAVE SEX. This is a misconception.
Stick that in your brain bucket, let it consume the edges of your brain bucket, and DON'T TRY TO REMOVE IT. Got it? Good. Now, pretend that if you have premarital sex, the cooties will come after you, eat you from the inside out, and life will no longer be pretty.

P.S. In case you didn't get this already, I recommend you wait until you're married to have sex. It's a good idea. I must say it is a nice feeling to not have that kind of regret like other girls...not to mention you and I get to be in that tiny 10% who don't have sex...and isn't it more exciting to be in the minority, the special little group who isn't like everyone else? Anti-conformity is fun, I promise.
Females, you may even want to join my Old Cat Lady Pact. Becoming an old cat lady would be much more fun than being a single mom working 3 jobs before the age of 20 and not getting to spend time with your kids; don't you agree?


I love you.
Be happy.
Shine for the world.
Thank you. :)

What's beautiful

I've been thinking a lot lately about girls and their body image, self-esteem, self-worth, and so on and so forth. It breaks my heart to know that all these girls, at a younger and younger age as the years pass, feel like something is always wrong with the way they look; they believe they look "wrong" because they don't fit a mold.

So, I ask you this: What is beauty? Can it even be defined? It seems to all be in perception to me...maybe you disagree. If so, what is your definition of beauty?

And how do we get these definitions and perspectives anyway? They don't just pop up out of nowhere, do they? Of course not. There's this website called Six Billion Secrets where people (obviously) post secrets...and if you look under the "Self-Esteem" section, you will find that there are a lot of girls on there posting about their negative body image...and, to my disgust, a very large portion of them got that image of themselves from their parents. One girl said her family couldn't afford much food, so she started to not eat because she wanted her brother to have more food since he was younger...noble act, right? Well, imagine how you would feel if you were in her shoes when her mother agreed that she needed to do that because she was overweight anyway. And then the girl who has only had tea to drink for days because every time she tries to eat anything, her mother says she's had enough...since when is nothing enough?

I trust my parents and if they ever said those kinds of things to me (which they don't), I would take their words to heart, too. So I get it. But isn't that just heart-wrenching? These girls feel worthless, unloved, and lost because of the very people who are supposed to show them the most unconditional love and support. That's just wrong.

But elsewhere on this site, there are the girls who say they woke up this morning and realized they loved themselves, flaws and all, and could be strong and beautiful in their own skin. Some people aren't that happy and content with themselves, but I wish they were. I've never met a girl who wasn't stunningly radiant and beautiful. Nope, not once. But not all of those girls know that they are just as gorgeous as the other girls they see every day...they need to be reminded.

And they aren't reminded by looking in the mirror. There are a lot of girls who fear the mirror; they literally don't want to face themselves and know what's on the outside they can't see of themselves. They don't want to know that they are different...but isn't being different more fun? Being unique is much more exciting than being the cookie-cutter Barbie doll we see day-in and day-out. And who really wants to be plastic anyway? Girls, go look in the mirror and smile because YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Anjoli has a blog...uh-oh

So, this is my first post. This is where I'm supposed to tell you why I have a blog and what I'm going to write in it...but, quite frankly, I feel like that would just bore you. And since this is just the start of my blog and no one will read it anyway, I find it pointless to waste my time, telling myself why I started a blog...catch my drift? With that being said, I expect that I will be just as blunt as usual and share my everyday thoughts. Sometimes they are controversial...sometimes they are just beyond superfluous. I guess it's a toss-up what you will get here. Good luck. :)