Wednesday, January 30, 2013

"Christian Sex:" WHAT?!

[Whoa,'re going to talk about sex? Are you serious?]

Yeah, I'm serious. Let's talk about premarital sex.
I recently heard of a concept called "Christian sex." Apparently this is a term used to describe the premarital sexual acts in which Christians are allowed to participate. Not to get too graphic or anything, but apparently there is a dividing line between "regular" sex and anal sex, so Christians can do the latter before marriage, but not the former...and apparently they can still call themselves virgins afterward, which makes it "okay."

I hope you're on the same page with me as I say this: WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!
I hate need to break it to you, but: Christians aren't supposed to engage in ANY sexual acts prior to marriage!

I don't care how you twist around the rules and guidelines, any kind of sex is still sex. And you can't slip your way through that truth. Don't believe me? Ask your parents. Ask your pastor. Ask some wise friends. Ask elders of the church. Almost anyone!

It is your responsibility to protect your purity and maintain your virginity until the day you sign that marriage certificate. And it is the responsibility of your significant other to protect your purity in the same way.

Can you honestly tell me that you still feel innocent and pure after engaging in that [SEXUAL] act? Can you tell me that you won't regret it if you do it? Can you tell me that you would be perfectly content with announcing to your family and your church that you did it? And do you honestly (and I mean HONESTLY) believe that Jesus would look you in the eye and tell you that it's perfectly fine to do that?

If your answers to any of those are "no," that should probably be a clear sign to you that you shouldn't do it.
I can tell you right now that the answer to that last question should DEFINITELY be a NO.

Matthew 5:28 "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

We know that it is sinful to THINK sexual thoughts (to clarify: it is not sinful to be tempted; it is sinful to respond to the temptation and allow it to fill our minds). We know that imagining a sexual situation with a person is just as bad as actually doing it...because if we have committed a sin in our minds, we have also committed it in our hearts. So, how could anyone ever try to draw a line between a so-called acceptable sexual fantasy and a non-acceptable sexual fantasy when you are unmarried? No one could do that. And if you can't draw a line between sexual fantasies, how can you draw a line between acceptable and non-acceptable sexual practices? One TYPE of sex is not different from another type.

I'm thoughts are all over the place on this one because there are just too many reasons this concept of "Christian sex" is off-the-wall and inaccurate! So please excuse the jumbled nature of this post. I guess my main message here is this:

Don't let anyone tell you that it is okay to engage in any sexual behavior before you are married. If your partner isn't willing to wait until marriage--and isn't willing to protect and honor you and your body--then that person isn't worth dating. And TRUST ME: God has someone much more respectful, loving, and Christ-like waiting for you.

Okay...go out and make good choices.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Welcome to the Buffer Zone

When we were kids, my brother always used to say, "You're in my buffer zone!" That was his way of telling us that we were too close for comfort and we needed to back off. Of course, the rest of us were younger siblings, so we always pushed our luck! But the whole "buffer zone" thing was a concept my family adopted and that we still use, just for fun, to this day.

On a more serious note: We all like to have our comfort zones (buffer zones, if you will) and we like to sit inside those magic little areas of safety and contentment by ourselves for as long as possible. In fact, we stay there until a needle pops it and we have to send it to the shop to get fixed or until someone stands outside it for days on end, just rubbing one little spot and a hole eventually develops, so we have no choice but to slowly exit on our own (or let that person inside the bubble, but really, who ever wants to let other people in their own little bubbles? Precious space!).

The scariest part, though, is that we aren't meant to stay trapped in these bubbles, are we? Just as God called Peter to step out of the boat and onto the water, He is calling us to do the same thing. He wants us to step out of our comfort zones and into a place where we can only survive by trusting Him.

And, get this: it doesn't just stop at us getting out of these zones and bubbles...that's only the beginning. We then have to dare to do two more things:

  1. Get inside other people's bubbles.
    We have to want to poke holes and tear down walls if we are going to reach people. There has to be some effort put into it! We have to let people know that we aren't settling for whatever they are giving us on the surface; we want to know who they are at the core and all the things they are afraid to let seep out of those holes. And don't get me wrong...we have to make sure that we aren't going in with axes and baseball bats, but with soft hearts and gentle spirits that will get us invitations inside.
  2. Let people inside our own bubbles.
    Oh, boy. There's a scary thought! But it's the truth. How can we expect others to open up and let us inside their buffer zones if we can't open up and let them inside ours? Besides, this isn't ONLY about their comfort; it's about ours, too. It's incredible what can happen if you allow your space to be invaded just a little bit, or allow a couple pokes.

Your mission? Break your bubble and then go help others break theirs. And most of all: step out of your comfort zone and witness the amazing work God wants to do--and will do--through you!

"Christian cuss words:" What?

Ok, let's have a chat.

There is no such thing as a Christian cuss word.

Seriously, Christian cuss words don't please stop fooling yourself and pretending that they do exist and that it is okay to use them.

You know what I'm talking about, right? All these Christians, especially in their teens and 20s, think that it's cool to come up with these knock-off swear words to replace the words they really want to use. You've heard these words, right?

Do you say them?

If you answered yes...then STOP.

Why? Because if you say something with the purposeful intention of saying it to specifically replace another (bad) word, then you might as well just say the bad word you intended on saying. You still mean the bad word; you just aren't saying it.

Is that clear?

So, the next time you say "fudge," make sure it's because you are craving a piece of delicious chocolatey goodness.

And the next time you get some urge to say a swear word, don't replace it with another word that's just a knock-off version of the real thing. Just don't say anything in that space. Swear words are completely unnecessary...and so are the so-called "Christian" versions of them.